Welcome to BoxOffice Trailer Throw Down! Where we round up the week’s finest trailers so you don’t get sucked down a YouTube rabbit hole.
Brace yourself, dear reader. This week we are bringing you a long list of trailers, some of which are for some smaller releases…and even some foreign language film. We do, however, still have an action franchise reboot with Bruce Willis blowing stuff up with his gun hands so don’t worry, all is well on BoxOffice Trailer Throw Down!
THE KILLING OF A SACRED DEER
The dude who made The Lobster reunites with Colin Farrell to make us watch floppy people crawling on the ground, all while we feel uncomfortable around Ellie Goulding songs.
Bruce Willis, described in the trailer as “a white dude,” brings us vigilante mayhem while as he reboots Death Wish with director Eli Roth.
Creepy painting, creepy floor mat, creepy visitors, creepy blood pattern, creepy old timey pictures…pretty standard bleeding light bulb though. Every day bleeding light bulbs.
GOODBYE CHRISTOPHER ROBIN
The true story of how a dad playing with his son lead to the creation of Winnie the Pooh. Surprisingly similar to how Axe Cop was created but with more honey and less axe-related violence.
THE FLORIDA PROJECT
Behind very brightly colored purple walls, Willam Dafoe battles his createst foe to date: melty ice cream.
A trailer can be inspiring and uplifting and somehow still make you terrified of being a parent.
SUPER DARK TIMES
Excellent points about both the Silver Surfer and the nude scene in True Lies sets us up for some bro-time fun but…TWIST…it gets as sad as the title implies.
TALES OF AN IMMORAL COUPLE
Super Dark Times was, well…super dark. So here is singing and dancing and some SFW naked people. In Spanish!
More subtitles and more dancing, this time coming at you in French and Russian.
CALL ME BY YOUR NAME
Are you still craving more subtitles? We have a few in Italian here for you while some people make out at camp? I feel like they are at camp.
SAME KIND OF DIFFERENT AS ME
Dude infiltrates another dude’s wife’s dream and then acts like he doesn’t want to be friends but guess what? They become buddies. Dream buddies.
A 17-year-old girl decides to be a nun and she discovers that the nun life involves much more self-torturing and a lot less shirtless Dave Franco than in The Little Hours.
This whole movies is paintings. The first feature film made entirely of oil paintings. Like if Van Gough made an animated film about himself just with his paintings. Some next level stuff right there.
DAVE MADE A MAZE
And we bring it home with the weirdest movie of the week. A film in which a cardboard maze, with a TARDIS-like ability to bend space-time, engulfs Doctor Venture and pro-wrestler John Morrison.
I really hope Michael Cera is playing “Michael Cera” in this film. The same “Michael Cera” from This Is The End. The high-stakes underground gambling leads me to believe we may have a chance…