Welcome to BoxOffice Trailer Throw Down! Where we round up the week’s finest trailers so you don’t get sucked down a YouTube rabbit hole.
This week we have a daddy movie, a mom movie, some figure skating, ghost architects, and a Liam Neeson movie that we swear isn’t in the Taken universe. Probably.
DEN OF THIEVES
50 Cent learns to shoot some guns in this here motion picture where he is addicted to heists. Addicted 2 Heistz also would have worked for me as the title here.
I LOVE YOU, DADDY
Louis C.K. makes a movie about difficulties of being a father and raising a daughter. So it’s pretty much like his FX series, Louie, jumped forward a few years and in black and white.
Figure skating! Truth! Collapsable bludgeoning objects!
Like Busta Rhymes once said, “It’s just another case of that ol’ PTA.” Surely he was talking about Paul Thomas Anderson and a movie where Daniel Day-Lewis hides notes in ladies garments.
Based on a true story of horses vs. tanks.
Liam Neeson reminds us to be afraid of trains because on every train there could be some sort of TAKEN-like hostage scenario.
Mom is dog. Yeah. Yeah, that about sums it up.
She’s angry…but why?? Oh, because of cheating. That’s why.
WINCHESTER: THE HOUSE THAT GHOSTS BUILT
Oh yeah, in real life Mrs. Winchester had to keep building on the house to keep the spirits of all the victims of Winchester firearms happy since they were all haunting the house. You think they would be a little more grateful for all of their 5oo rooms where they can chill in the afterlife.