Welcome to BoxOffice Trailer Throw Down! Where we round up the week’s finest trailers so you don’t get sucked down a YouTube rabbit hole.
ANT-MAN AND THE WASP
Things that are supposed to be big are small! Things that are supposed to be small are terrifying! Jellyfish! Hello Kitty!
A cautionary tale about signing things without reading them. This could have all happened after agreeing to an iTunes terms and conditions update. Think about that.
PACIFIC RIM UPRISING
The first Pacific Rim was about giant monsters fighting robots. Now, Pacific Rim Uprising is about…giant monsters fighting robots. It is still about giant monsters fighting robots.
The most unexpected reboot of the year is for everyone who watched the original Crocodile Dundee and thought, “If only he wasn’t so Australian.”
SURVIVORS GUIDE TO PRISON
If I were in prison, I would prefer it if RZA, Busta Rhymes and Danny Trejo had my back in there. This documentary is the next best thing.
HALF MAGIC (Red Band Trailer)
If you can’t wait until next year for more Terminator, here is a movie that includes both time travel and Linda Hamilton so it’s pretty much the same thing.
THE DEATH OF STALIN
At the 25 second mark, I thought this was going into a Weekend At Bernie’s direction. I will continue to hold onto that hope.
A very confusing trailer for a film that may or may not have face paralyzing kisses.
Wait, this was about soccer the whole ti–OH, NEVER MIND! LOOK AT THAT DUCK!
TILL THE END OF THE WORLD
Finally, a film that stops portraying penguins as cute things that fall over sometimes and show them as the flightless underwater menace that they are. They didn’t even try to save that guy.
BEAST OF BURDEN
Daniel Radcliffe is a drug mule flying a plane.
England cures the rage virus. Now, who will join me in pretending this is another installment in the 28 Days Later franchise?
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